So yesterday, I found my current boyfriend has not only been on the dating site he met me on within the last week, but he had changed his location on there to where he just moved to this weekend. This, of course, has posed many questions in my head about where he stands with us and what he isn't telling me. I trust him... but this makes me wonder if I should. So, after having a little bit of a meltdown yesterday and consulting the best friend, I decided to sleep on it and talk with him about it today.
This, of course, affected my sleep pattern last night, as well as impacted my dreams. I had a dream he was trying to wake me up for sex and I got up for the bathroom. When I came back, he rolled over and stopped trying. I then dreamed he asked me if he had done something wrong and I mumbled in my sleep "yes." He asked what and I mumbled " not now, we will talk about it in the morning."
Then I had the longer dream... the one where I actually talked to him about it. I don't quite remember the outcome, only that I had trouble getting my point across and he became angry. Funny... this may actually happen. I often stumble over my words with him and he ends up frustrated with me for hours upon days, depending on his mood and how much I talked after I frustrated him.
This post is in my dream journal, though after writing it, I seem to wonder if it needs to go into "Life Incoherent..." Hmmm... maybe a more elaborate version will make its way into that blog. Depending on outcome.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Dream of Sleeping
Dream last night...
Double A and I were sleeping in some strange apartment. He was fast asleep and we were on a sleep number bed (which he is buying in real life for his future apartment in Lakewood). I could not get comfortable enough to sleep. I kept tossing and turning, careful not to wake him. I grab the remote for the bed and start adjusting the firmness from super firm to super soft.
I woke up as I started sinking into the bed... disappearing completely.
Double A and I were sleeping in some strange apartment. He was fast asleep and we were on a sleep number bed (which he is buying in real life for his future apartment in Lakewood). I could not get comfortable enough to sleep. I kept tossing and turning, careful not to wake him. I grab the remote for the bed and start adjusting the firmness from super firm to super soft.
I woke up as I started sinking into the bed... disappearing completely.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Donuts on Labor Day
I had the strangest dream the other night. I dreamt I walked into my house and found Double A in a precarious position with another girl… it looked like they had just been kissing. Knowing I’m not supposed to react overemotionally, I quickly left the house. As I was driving through Gorst, I decided to dial the jail to talk to my ex, The Cop. The Cop answered the phone and I asked him a question in a tone of voice that indicated we’ve been talking all this time and have been on friendly terms.
“Is this Cheese?” He asks, identifying my voice immediately.
“Yes,” I reply, nervous he’s going to now hang up.
“Well, I guess I can be nice to you today,” He replies with only mild reluctance, reminding me of all the mean things he said to me the last time we talked, in an effort to make me leave him and never welcome him back, “Did you get my email?”
Confused, “What email?”
“The one about Labor Day,” He informs me, “I need you to pick up some donuts at 5:30am and drive them to the doctor’s clinic.”
“At 5:30 in the morning…?” I try to clarify, still not understanding what this is about, “on labor day… September 5th…?”
“Yeah, they’re for the kid.”
This is when I remember he has a favorite nephew. I briefly think about Double A and what he would feel about this and what I would tell him when I had to get up at that hour, if he’s still around, before concluding in my mind that I had no intentions of letting The Cop back in… not after what he did to me when I gave him a second chance at being my boyfriend. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, after all. So, I agree to pick up the donuts on Labor Day.
The dream then flash forwarded to a lake on a sunny day. I’m there with The Cop and a ton of people, having a great time. The lake is gorgeous, bright blue with huge, regal rocks throughout it to jump off of and trees dispersed throughout it to create shade. People are laughing and talking and taking pictures. I start to feel anxious that the pictures might end up on Facebook as I think about Double A. Again, I reason that I am doing nothing wrong, that hanging out with The Cop was strictly platonic and he hadn’t even done anything to imply he wanted to be my boyfriend again. At the same time I recognize I had not mentioned Double A to The Cop.
The dream never finished… I woke up after that.
“Is this Cheese?” He asks, identifying my voice immediately.
“Yes,” I reply, nervous he’s going to now hang up.
“Well, I guess I can be nice to you today,” He replies with only mild reluctance, reminding me of all the mean things he said to me the last time we talked, in an effort to make me leave him and never welcome him back, “Did you get my email?”
Confused, “What email?”
“The one about Labor Day,” He informs me, “I need you to pick up some donuts at 5:30am and drive them to the doctor’s clinic.”
“At 5:30 in the morning…?” I try to clarify, still not understanding what this is about, “on labor day… September 5th…?”
“Yeah, they’re for the kid.”
This is when I remember he has a favorite nephew. I briefly think about Double A and what he would feel about this and what I would tell him when I had to get up at that hour, if he’s still around, before concluding in my mind that I had no intentions of letting The Cop back in… not after what he did to me when I gave him a second chance at being my boyfriend. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, after all. So, I agree to pick up the donuts on Labor Day.
The dream then flash forwarded to a lake on a sunny day. I’m there with The Cop and a ton of people, having a great time. The lake is gorgeous, bright blue with huge, regal rocks throughout it to jump off of and trees dispersed throughout it to create shade. People are laughing and talking and taking pictures. I start to feel anxious that the pictures might end up on Facebook as I think about Double A. Again, I reason that I am doing nothing wrong, that hanging out with The Cop was strictly platonic and he hadn’t even done anything to imply he wanted to be my boyfriend again. At the same time I recognize I had not mentioned Double A to The Cop.
The dream never finished… I woke up after that.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Love meets Love
Strange dream. Not sure what prompted it. Could be the upcoming Mexican Cruise I am taking with my boyfriend; which was the same cruise I took when I left the ex-boyfriend who was also in the dream behind. Maybe it means something totally different, since I haven't thought of the Italian in quite a while.
The dream started out with me knowing the Italian was coming to town. I'm in the car with my BFF, telling her about my reservations, since he will be staying with me and Double A, my current boyfriend, was going to also be staying with me. We are driving up her road and she is calmly listening to me. Funny thing about my BFF, she always appears as perfectly calm and collected in my dreams. Then again, she usually is in real life as well.
But I digress. We pull into her driveway as I'm finishing telling her about the Italian's return and she says nothing and we get out of the car. I say hello to her parents.
The dream flashes to me in a big strange top-floor apartment with Double A. The Italian had just gotten there, but the two refuse to acknowledge each other, let alone talk. Double A and I are in the bedroom in our pajama's talking about something that I do not remember. He asks if I'm coming and I tell him I'd be right back. He shrugs and I walk out to the darkly decorated living room with it's dark brown plaid couch, where the Italian is making his bed. I quickly realize I'm only wearing a shirt and underwear and am instantly concerned about Double A's thoughts on that when I push the idea out of my mind, knowing there was nothing left between the Italian and I except wilted love and how nothing would ever happen. Also, I recalled him telling me he's not the jealous type and how things like that doesn't bother him.
The Italian and I exchange a few words and I walk back to where Double A was, finding him in the back bathroom, showering. I climb into the shower with him and say nothing about conversation with the Italian as he nods and stares at me inquisitively.
The dream wraps up with Lacy and I standing on a boat that's traveling through the sound. I'm staring at the Italian and Lacy asks me if I can handle him staying with me and not do anything stupid. I nod with determination and tell her "Absolutely. I may love the Italian, but I love Double A more and would do nothing to sabotage that or hurt him." Lacy smiles slightly and I notice Double A walking by, having been within earshot the entire time. I blush fiercely, having not expected or necessarily wanted him to hear me confess my devotion in such a way. He walks over to where the Italian is standing at the railing of the boat and leans over, finally electing to talk to him.
Not sure if I woke up right then or just don't remember the rest of the dream. I suppose at that point, if there was more, it would likely be mostly insignificant...
The dream started out with me knowing the Italian was coming to town. I'm in the car with my BFF, telling her about my reservations, since he will be staying with me and Double A, my current boyfriend, was going to also be staying with me. We are driving up her road and she is calmly listening to me. Funny thing about my BFF, she always appears as perfectly calm and collected in my dreams. Then again, she usually is in real life as well.
But I digress. We pull into her driveway as I'm finishing telling her about the Italian's return and she says nothing and we get out of the car. I say hello to her parents.
The dream flashes to me in a big strange top-floor apartment with Double A. The Italian had just gotten there, but the two refuse to acknowledge each other, let alone talk. Double A and I are in the bedroom in our pajama's talking about something that I do not remember. He asks if I'm coming and I tell him I'd be right back. He shrugs and I walk out to the darkly decorated living room with it's dark brown plaid couch, where the Italian is making his bed. I quickly realize I'm only wearing a shirt and underwear and am instantly concerned about Double A's thoughts on that when I push the idea out of my mind, knowing there was nothing left between the Italian and I except wilted love and how nothing would ever happen. Also, I recalled him telling me he's not the jealous type and how things like that doesn't bother him.
The Italian and I exchange a few words and I walk back to where Double A was, finding him in the back bathroom, showering. I climb into the shower with him and say nothing about conversation with the Italian as he nods and stares at me inquisitively.
The dream wraps up with Lacy and I standing on a boat that's traveling through the sound. I'm staring at the Italian and Lacy asks me if I can handle him staying with me and not do anything stupid. I nod with determination and tell her "Absolutely. I may love the Italian, but I love Double A more and would do nothing to sabotage that or hurt him." Lacy smiles slightly and I notice Double A walking by, having been within earshot the entire time. I blush fiercely, having not expected or necessarily wanted him to hear me confess my devotion in such a way. He walks over to where the Italian is standing at the railing of the boat and leans over, finally electing to talk to him.
Not sure if I woke up right then or just don't remember the rest of the dream. I suppose at that point, if there was more, it would likely be mostly insignificant...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Silence is Not Always Golden, Though Ignorance May Be Bliss…
Had a disturbing dream last night.
My mom and sister were in town and I lived in this strange area that wasn’t a city or a town, but some houses and a huge amphitheater playhouse all located in the middle of nowhere. I was beside myself with anxiety and worry and walking around half naked when my sister stopped me and insisted I put some clothes on. She handed me a crocheted sweater that had her name embroidered on the homemade tag at the back of the neck. Then I was in a robe. My parents’ old friends whom I haven’t seen in at least 15 years were there as I walked into the playhouse.
I looked over and saw Double A sitting next to one of my dad’s old friends and I tried not to cry as I realized the reason I was so incredibly stressed and all out of sorts was because I was pregnant with his child. I walked over and opened my mouth to say something, but I found I couldn’t tell him because I was scared it would break us up. My mom’s friend walked up to me me and asked if I was alright and I tried to smile and tell her I was as I asked her to take me to the doctor’s. I bent down and gave Double A a kiss, having decided to keep the pregnancy a secret from him and to just have it terminated. That way, Double A wouldn’t have to know and we could just stay together and be happy.
Next thing I know I’m in an old white Dodge Ram and Double A is driving. There is tense silence between us and I almost tell him once more that I am pregnant with his child as I recognize he may want to keep it (which I don’t want to do and I fear I’ll build resentment up towards him for the burden if I let him talk me into it) or he may want me to get an abortion (which is what I want but I fear the weight of killing our child would cause a rift between us). So I remain silent as we bounce on down the road in the ‘80’s pickup truck in heavy silence.
Then the scene flashed to a doctor’s office, where I’m sitting in the waiting room with my decision bearing down on me with suffocating weight. I was fidgeting in my seat, wishing I had someone there to hold me, though I wasn’t crying or outwardly displaying my hysterics. I was called back and put in stirrups, a big sign on the wall in front of me clearly reading:
“Your options are:
Abortion - Manual Removal
Abortion PILL will make you bleed
You need to tell him!”
I finally start to cry as the doctor kneels down between my legs and I realized I was making a decision Double A and I should both be discussing, that in a way I was stealing from him what should have been his right to know and give input on. I pondered how ironic this was, since a lot of women get pregnant to keep guys and I was doing the exact opposite by secretly taking his choice away from him in order to hang on.
The dream jumped back to the playhouse and I approached where Double A was sitting. He looked over at me and smiled, not noticing anything was wrong as a pulling, retching feeling filled my gut at what I had just selfishly taken from him without his knowledge. I sat down next to him and he put his hand on my knee and I almost told him again, but realized he would be angry with me for not having told him about it in the first place. I was now stuck keeping this dirty little secret as I wondered if it was going to end up blowing us apart after all…
At this point Double A came into the bedroom and cuddled up to me, waking me up out of my miserable dream. It was so vivid, I had trouble coming out of it as I found myself feeling exposed and vulnerable, which made me a little grumpy, as I just wanted to snuggle up and feel safe and go back to sleep to have a better dream, though it was already 5 am and I knew I had to get up soon. Some mornings I loathe 5 am more than others…
My mom and sister were in town and I lived in this strange area that wasn’t a city or a town, but some houses and a huge amphitheater playhouse all located in the middle of nowhere. I was beside myself with anxiety and worry and walking around half naked when my sister stopped me and insisted I put some clothes on. She handed me a crocheted sweater that had her name embroidered on the homemade tag at the back of the neck. Then I was in a robe. My parents’ old friends whom I haven’t seen in at least 15 years were there as I walked into the playhouse.
I looked over and saw Double A sitting next to one of my dad’s old friends and I tried not to cry as I realized the reason I was so incredibly stressed and all out of sorts was because I was pregnant with his child. I walked over and opened my mouth to say something, but I found I couldn’t tell him because I was scared it would break us up. My mom’s friend walked up to me me and asked if I was alright and I tried to smile and tell her I was as I asked her to take me to the doctor’s. I bent down and gave Double A a kiss, having decided to keep the pregnancy a secret from him and to just have it terminated. That way, Double A wouldn’t have to know and we could just stay together and be happy.
Next thing I know I’m in an old white Dodge Ram and Double A is driving. There is tense silence between us and I almost tell him once more that I am pregnant with his child as I recognize he may want to keep it (which I don’t want to do and I fear I’ll build resentment up towards him for the burden if I let him talk me into it) or he may want me to get an abortion (which is what I want but I fear the weight of killing our child would cause a rift between us). So I remain silent as we bounce on down the road in the ‘80’s pickup truck in heavy silence.
Then the scene flashed to a doctor’s office, where I’m sitting in the waiting room with my decision bearing down on me with suffocating weight. I was fidgeting in my seat, wishing I had someone there to hold me, though I wasn’t crying or outwardly displaying my hysterics. I was called back and put in stirrups, a big sign on the wall in front of me clearly reading:
“Your options are:
Abortion - Manual Removal
Abortion PILL will make you bleed
You need to tell him!”
I finally start to cry as the doctor kneels down between my legs and I realized I was making a decision Double A and I should both be discussing, that in a way I was stealing from him what should have been his right to know and give input on. I pondered how ironic this was, since a lot of women get pregnant to keep guys and I was doing the exact opposite by secretly taking his choice away from him in order to hang on.
The dream jumped back to the playhouse and I approached where Double A was sitting. He looked over at me and smiled, not noticing anything was wrong as a pulling, retching feeling filled my gut at what I had just selfishly taken from him without his knowledge. I sat down next to him and he put his hand on my knee and I almost told him again, but realized he would be angry with me for not having told him about it in the first place. I was now stuck keeping this dirty little secret as I wondered if it was going to end up blowing us apart after all…
At this point Double A came into the bedroom and cuddled up to me, waking me up out of my miserable dream. It was so vivid, I had trouble coming out of it as I found myself feeling exposed and vulnerable, which made me a little grumpy, as I just wanted to snuggle up and feel safe and go back to sleep to have a better dream, though it was already 5 am and I knew I had to get up soon. Some mornings I loathe 5 am more than others…
Monday, January 17, 2011
Running
Strange dream last night... I woke up disturbed. LOL, seems every time I date a guy; for the first 3 to 4 months (if I let him stick around that long), he occupies my dreams as my subconscious tries to keep up with the conscious anxieties/discomforts, etc. And, other than the occasional sexual dream, these initial dreams are rarely positive, though they can often be neutral.
This dream was not neutral.
I dreamt I was camping somewhere that had a lot of madrona trees. Not big madrona trees, but small, scraggly ones. I was roaming through them, waiting for Double A (the man I'm dating) to show up. I was not excited to see him... I was mostly nervous and apprehensive. I was lost in thought, wandering through the madrona woods, wondering what it would be like to uproot one and run with it.
I came into a clearing that I recognized... My friend J's old place. It was her property from when I was growing up, though there was a different house on it and the horse pastures were bigger, with more hills and a different set up. I was amazed to find she had 7 or 8 horses, plus several foals as I briefly pondered if she was boarding horses for extra income. My thoughts of Double A gone, I wandered into the pasture and proceeded to pet some of the horses, who seemed happy to see me.
I glanced up and saw Double A approaching where I was standing, stroking a foal on its head. He smiled as he approached. I gave a shy smile back and exited the pasture. We entered J's house and I was finally experiencing excitement at seeing him. He stood in the kitchen, me in the dining room and there was a half wall between us. He leaned over the halfwall and explained to me that him and his family were moving to Alaska. I felt devastation welling up inside of me as he explained why... something about this area making his parents sick and that they had packed up the motorhome. He leaned over the halfwall to give me a kiss... our last kiss.
Realizing this is goodbye without warning, I turned away from him and ran. I ran out of the house, across the pasture and back into the madrona woods. I was surprised to notice he was chasing me, as my fear of him catching upscared the shit out of me because I was crying and I did not want him to see me cry. I tried to pick up my pace, tried to outrun him as I remembered him mentioning he used to be a runner and knowing it was futile, that he was going to catch up to me. I reached the thick of the woods, just as Double A reached out and grasped my wrist.
This was when I woke up, so I have no idea how the dream ended.
This dream was not neutral.
I dreamt I was camping somewhere that had a lot of madrona trees. Not big madrona trees, but small, scraggly ones. I was roaming through them, waiting for Double A (the man I'm dating) to show up. I was not excited to see him... I was mostly nervous and apprehensive. I was lost in thought, wandering through the madrona woods, wondering what it would be like to uproot one and run with it.
I came into a clearing that I recognized... My friend J's old place. It was her property from when I was growing up, though there was a different house on it and the horse pastures were bigger, with more hills and a different set up. I was amazed to find she had 7 or 8 horses, plus several foals as I briefly pondered if she was boarding horses for extra income. My thoughts of Double A gone, I wandered into the pasture and proceeded to pet some of the horses, who seemed happy to see me.
I glanced up and saw Double A approaching where I was standing, stroking a foal on its head. He smiled as he approached. I gave a shy smile back and exited the pasture. We entered J's house and I was finally experiencing excitement at seeing him. He stood in the kitchen, me in the dining room and there was a half wall between us. He leaned over the halfwall and explained to me that him and his family were moving to Alaska. I felt devastation welling up inside of me as he explained why... something about this area making his parents sick and that they had packed up the motorhome. He leaned over the halfwall to give me a kiss... our last kiss.
Realizing this is goodbye without warning, I turned away from him and ran. I ran out of the house, across the pasture and back into the madrona woods. I was surprised to notice he was chasing me, as my fear of him catching upscared the shit out of me because I was crying and I did not want him to see me cry. I tried to pick up my pace, tried to outrun him as I remembered him mentioning he used to be a runner and knowing it was futile, that he was going to catch up to me. I reached the thick of the woods, just as Double A reached out and grasped my wrist.
This was when I woke up, so I have no idea how the dream ended.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Mess of catastrophe
Strange dreams last night. Perhaps because I was still a little drunk by the time I passed out. Not sure if it was all one dream or a couple of different ones, but I'm going to treat it as one, even though the two parts do not include the same people.
First segment of the dream requires a little bit of a setup. Basically, in real life (not the dream) I knew Double A, the guy I'm dating, was going to a New Years Eve party last night. Though he does not know this, I also used to date the brother of the guy whose party he was going to.
In the dream, I was at this restaurant with some random guy and we were sitting at the counter. Double A is behind the counter, working at the restaurant. In the dream, I am on a date with the guy I am sitting next to, though I do not want to be on a date with him as I gaze longingly at Double A, who seems to have a problem with me being on a date with this guy. I find this somewhat weird, since I'm on this date for the sole reason of Double A and I proving we are not boyfriend and girlfriend... at his request.
As the guy I'm sitting next to notices I am gazing longingly at the man I really wish I was on the date with, he gets jealous and starts putting his hand on my leg, then on my arm in an attempt to get me attention on him. As he finally possessively wraps his arm around me, Double A indicates he's going on a break and gestures for me to follow. I break away from the guy I had agreed to date at Double A's insistence that we prove to everyone we are not an item.
As I head toward where Double A was going, I keep bracing myself hopefully for him to appear around a corner and pull me into a kiss; to tell me we shouldn't be seeing other people, but should just be an item and he is okay with it. Instead, I find myself outside, suddenly at the New Year's Eve party he was at, and still no Double A. I pass by the guy I used to date whose brother was throwing the party and think about saying hi, but decide I don't want to do that until I know what is going on with Double A. Nothing like the shame of being at a party I'm only invited to because of the man I'm dating when he might have a foot out the door.
Finally, I see a park bench where Double A is seated. I'm excited as he makes eye, hoping this is it, he's wanting to be my boyfriend. As I approach where he's sitting, some chick crosses in front of me and plops down in his lap. Instead of pushing her away, Double A puts an arm around her and looks up at me, patting the empty spot next to him for me to have a seat. I stare at him blankly, completely lost for words as I realize he was being malicious, before I narrow my eyes and growl at him in a low tone of voice, "you can just fuck off!", before turning around and storming away.
As I make my way back through the party I am fuming and hurt, thinking about how I never even wanted to date that other guy but did so at his insistence and it was all just a ruse so he could date outside of us. I pass by C, the guy I used to date, and he still takes absolutely no notice of me, for which I am glad. I don't say hi as I make a B-line back to the restaurant, not caring to be seen by anyone at this point.
I walk into the restaurant and my brother-in-law is there, drinking as the place suddenly fails to be an eatery and becomes a bar. I say hi and he gestures for me to follow him as he leaves the bar and my sister joins us. We walk for a while through what appears to be a museum inside an amusement park. I am alarmed to realize the statues are alive, much like Night at the Museum, though they do not attack as my Sis and Bro-in-Law make our way through the place and toward the gate. We exit the gate and walk along a dirt road, hop in a boat and head across a bay towards what looks like my house.
"It's green," I observe, as we beach the motorboat.
"Yup," My bro-in-law replies over his shoulder as we walk up the shore.
I start to panic as I realize the beach in front of my house is degrading and falling into the sea. I point this out as I look up at my house and see that it, too, is falling apart and that the green is moldy sludge clinging to my siding as the roof sags.
"What am I going to do?" I ask of my brother in law as the waves take another sizable chunk of land from the front of my property, "It won't be long until the ocean has created a cliff for my house to collapse into!"
My bro-in-law shrugs, unconcerned as he starts back up the road again, "It'll be okay. The sea won't reach your house,"
This time, we take a road back to the bar that is in a museum that is in an amusement park. My sister parts ways with us and the living statues leave us alone as we walk through the large, ornate gate and head toward the bar. My brother in law proceeds to drink as I start to get concerned with his alcohol intake. He gets mad at me and storms off and I desperately go in search of my sister. At this point, the living statues take hostile notice of me and start stalking me. I locate my sister and manage to lose the living statues and we find ourselves on the road again, headed toward my house as we look for my brother in law. A sinking feeling manifests itself in my guts as we stumble across a bare rim to her Dodge Durango. Not far from this is more wreckage before the grand finale of the Durango laying on its side surrounded by cops.
I have no idea what happened to my brother in law as suddenly the living statues close in on me and I am running from them. Back through the gate, into the museum, where they surround me. I find myself panicked and negotiating for my life as they draw knives and I can't even tell if they understand my language enough to know what I'm saying. Not that it matters because at the point when two of the living statue warriors are closing in on me with their rusted knives, I jerked awake, sweaty and stressed out by the vivid recollection of the dream.
First segment of the dream requires a little bit of a setup. Basically, in real life (not the dream) I knew Double A, the guy I'm dating, was going to a New Years Eve party last night. Though he does not know this, I also used to date the brother of the guy whose party he was going to.
In the dream, I was at this restaurant with some random guy and we were sitting at the counter. Double A is behind the counter, working at the restaurant. In the dream, I am on a date with the guy I am sitting next to, though I do not want to be on a date with him as I gaze longingly at Double A, who seems to have a problem with me being on a date with this guy. I find this somewhat weird, since I'm on this date for the sole reason of Double A and I proving we are not boyfriend and girlfriend... at his request.
As the guy I'm sitting next to notices I am gazing longingly at the man I really wish I was on the date with, he gets jealous and starts putting his hand on my leg, then on my arm in an attempt to get me attention on him. As he finally possessively wraps his arm around me, Double A indicates he's going on a break and gestures for me to follow. I break away from the guy I had agreed to date at Double A's insistence that we prove to everyone we are not an item.
As I head toward where Double A was going, I keep bracing myself hopefully for him to appear around a corner and pull me into a kiss; to tell me we shouldn't be seeing other people, but should just be an item and he is okay with it. Instead, I find myself outside, suddenly at the New Year's Eve party he was at, and still no Double A. I pass by the guy I used to date whose brother was throwing the party and think about saying hi, but decide I don't want to do that until I know what is going on with Double A. Nothing like the shame of being at a party I'm only invited to because of the man I'm dating when he might have a foot out the door.
Finally, I see a park bench where Double A is seated. I'm excited as he makes eye, hoping this is it, he's wanting to be my boyfriend. As I approach where he's sitting, some chick crosses in front of me and plops down in his lap. Instead of pushing her away, Double A puts an arm around her and looks up at me, patting the empty spot next to him for me to have a seat. I stare at him blankly, completely lost for words as I realize he was being malicious, before I narrow my eyes and growl at him in a low tone of voice, "you can just fuck off!", before turning around and storming away.
As I make my way back through the party I am fuming and hurt, thinking about how I never even wanted to date that other guy but did so at his insistence and it was all just a ruse so he could date outside of us. I pass by C, the guy I used to date, and he still takes absolutely no notice of me, for which I am glad. I don't say hi as I make a B-line back to the restaurant, not caring to be seen by anyone at this point.
I walk into the restaurant and my brother-in-law is there, drinking as the place suddenly fails to be an eatery and becomes a bar. I say hi and he gestures for me to follow him as he leaves the bar and my sister joins us. We walk for a while through what appears to be a museum inside an amusement park. I am alarmed to realize the statues are alive, much like Night at the Museum, though they do not attack as my Sis and Bro-in-Law make our way through the place and toward the gate. We exit the gate and walk along a dirt road, hop in a boat and head across a bay towards what looks like my house.
"It's green," I observe, as we beach the motorboat.
"Yup," My bro-in-law replies over his shoulder as we walk up the shore.
I start to panic as I realize the beach in front of my house is degrading and falling into the sea. I point this out as I look up at my house and see that it, too, is falling apart and that the green is moldy sludge clinging to my siding as the roof sags.
"What am I going to do?" I ask of my brother in law as the waves take another sizable chunk of land from the front of my property, "It won't be long until the ocean has created a cliff for my house to collapse into!"
My bro-in-law shrugs, unconcerned as he starts back up the road again, "It'll be okay. The sea won't reach your house,"
This time, we take a road back to the bar that is in a museum that is in an amusement park. My sister parts ways with us and the living statues leave us alone as we walk through the large, ornate gate and head toward the bar. My brother in law proceeds to drink as I start to get concerned with his alcohol intake. He gets mad at me and storms off and I desperately go in search of my sister. At this point, the living statues take hostile notice of me and start stalking me. I locate my sister and manage to lose the living statues and we find ourselves on the road again, headed toward my house as we look for my brother in law. A sinking feeling manifests itself in my guts as we stumble across a bare rim to her Dodge Durango. Not far from this is more wreckage before the grand finale of the Durango laying on its side surrounded by cops.
I have no idea what happened to my brother in law as suddenly the living statues close in on me and I am running from them. Back through the gate, into the museum, where they surround me. I find myself panicked and negotiating for my life as they draw knives and I can't even tell if they understand my language enough to know what I'm saying. Not that it matters because at the point when two of the living statue warriors are closing in on me with their rusted knives, I jerked awake, sweaty and stressed out by the vivid recollection of the dream.
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