This dream is interesting. First off, I'm in another relationship, though the man, whom we'll call Double A, still refers to us as "friends". We had been taking certain things slow, though moving quickly in other areas. My emotions are guarded due to the last guy who blasted my heart apart and broke me for several months, but have still developed an attraction and a strong connection with him. It's enough to scare the hell out of me, yet intrigue me enough to not run for my safety. Anyways, I digress. On to the dream!
In my dream, it was dark out, but I’m not sure if it was night. I was in the woods somewhere at a random lodge and I think all my friends were there, though I couldn’t see them. I was dressed in a white dress and realized it was my wedding. I was certain I was marrying the right man, though I vaguely remembered him talking about not wanting marriage and how we’ve only been dating for a little over a month. Double A came out and saw me in my dress and put his arms around me and I was instantly elated.
The music started and two bridesmaids bolted past me to music that was too fast for the setting as Double A walked up to the altar, the ceremony rushing along at an unnatural pace as people in the pews whispered about how we had to hurry up, that time was running out. I stood alone as “here comes the bride” began to play at the normal beat, unlike the rushed pre-bride music, and I looked around almost frantically, suddenly all too aware there was no one to give me away, that my dad was not present, nor was any of the rest of my family. I looked over at my good friend Choadis, but there was no time to ask her if she would give me away, so I started walking towards where Double A was standing in anticipation.
This is when I realized how unprepared I was for this wedding, that I didn’t even have a bouquet to carry down the aisle. At the same time, everything about what I was doing felt right. More right than my first wedding or the idea of marrying anyone else. The problem was it felt rushed and like it was happening too quickly.
Double A put his hand on my back as I took my position next to him and it became apparent to me that this was a dream. I felt mild fear as I thought about how my dreams sometimes come true…
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Over Exposure
Last night I dreamt I was naked. Well, I suppose I am, but this is not my diary blog... it's my dream blog.
I dreamt I was in a store in Silverdale, that I decided I was going to take a chance as I stripped down to nothing. I figured I was already feeling so exposed, I might as well bare all in real life and see what happens. So I took all of my clothes off at the door and walked out. People were staring at me from their cars as they drove through the parking lot and they were pointing at me as they walked toward the store. I felt liberated and untouchable at first, like everything had been lifted off of me and I was finally free of all pain and suffering, though it wasn't long before I started to fear one of the onlookers was going to call the cops. My just recent ex who had shattered me was a corrections officer and I feared I would be cuffed and taken to him, instantly shamed as he processed me and realized I was not at all the person he thought I was. I was halfway to my car at this point and my confindent stride in my naked parade was just as broken as my heart. I started to look around with paranoia as I picked up the pace I was walking, though my legs would not let me run. I finally made it to my car, where I put on a shirt, but no pants or underwear. I drove off a nervous wreck, thinking maybe the authorities wouldn't think it was me if they passed by, since I was no longer fully naked. I glanced over to see a trucker looking down at my half naked body and I no longer felt free and strong, but dirty and weak as I stressed over what the man who crushed my heart a few weeks back would think of me now...
I dreamt I was in a store in Silverdale, that I decided I was going to take a chance as I stripped down to nothing. I figured I was already feeling so exposed, I might as well bare all in real life and see what happens. So I took all of my clothes off at the door and walked out. People were staring at me from their cars as they drove through the parking lot and they were pointing at me as they walked toward the store. I felt liberated and untouchable at first, like everything had been lifted off of me and I was finally free of all pain and suffering, though it wasn't long before I started to fear one of the onlookers was going to call the cops. My just recent ex who had shattered me was a corrections officer and I feared I would be cuffed and taken to him, instantly shamed as he processed me and realized I was not at all the person he thought I was. I was halfway to my car at this point and my confindent stride in my naked parade was just as broken as my heart. I started to look around with paranoia as I picked up the pace I was walking, though my legs would not let me run. I finally made it to my car, where I put on a shirt, but no pants or underwear. I drove off a nervous wreck, thinking maybe the authorities wouldn't think it was me if they passed by, since I was no longer fully naked. I glanced over to see a trucker looking down at my half naked body and I no longer felt free and strong, but dirty and weak as I stressed over what the man who crushed my heart a few weeks back would think of me now...
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Raccoon & Hockey
I had a dream last night that I lived in a bottom floor condo in some city and my cat got out. He was running around all crazy outside my bedroom window like he was scared of something and wanted in. I opened the window and my cat darted in, with a raccoon following close behind. At first this really freaked me out, 'cause a raccoon in a house is a bad idea. They're mean and have sharp teeth and claws and are very strong. The raccoon jumped up on the bed and I saw it was a baby and that it wanted attention from me. I was trying to take a picture of it with my cell phone, when I noticed the horrible smell of garbage that it had on it and realized it was on the quilt my mom made me. As I tried to pick it up to get it off my bed, the baby raccoon acted like it wanted to be petted like I pet my cat. I also realized it was really heavy and solidly built for it's size. I picked it up and put it outside on my window sill and it promised to come back and not bring it's mom, who would likely attack me.
My dream then flashed to a hockey rink. I was on the ice, trying to play with a team of about 10, including my company's GCCM Superintendent and my Self Perform Superintendent. I just basically skated around aimlessly as the GCCM and Self Perform Supers were shooting pucks past the goalies. I wanted to make a goal, too, but couldn't swing my hockey stick, though it didn't seem to be heavy. At one point I tried to skate forward but couldn't and when I looked down, I saw that I didn't have skates on anymore; I was just wearing my New Balance shoes. The last thing I remember of this portion of the dream, I looked up and saw one of the goals was unprotected by the goalie as someone scored.
My dream then flashed to a hockey rink. I was on the ice, trying to play with a team of about 10, including my company's GCCM Superintendent and my Self Perform Superintendent. I just basically skated around aimlessly as the GCCM and Self Perform Supers were shooting pucks past the goalies. I wanted to make a goal, too, but couldn't swing my hockey stick, though it didn't seem to be heavy. At one point I tried to skate forward but couldn't and when I looked down, I saw that I didn't have skates on anymore; I was just wearing my New Balance shoes. The last thing I remember of this portion of the dream, I looked up and saw one of the goals was unprotected by the goalie as someone scored.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Hawaii vs. The Sinister Bunch
OMG, the weirdest dream!
In the beginning of this dream, my company asked me to go to Oahu and I didn't answer. I was walking along with L and K, trying to discuss why I didn't want to go. L agrees with me, reminding me I’m going nuts up in M-ville without my friends and family around to hang out with at least once or twice a week, and I concur. I start talking to K about it, though I’m trying my best not to let him know one of the reasons I don’t want to go to Oahu for the next year or two is because I wanted a chance with him and I knew if I went, I wouldn't get that chance. But I was also stressed that I was not going to have a job if I said no to taking the job.
The dream then flashed (or maybe this was a separate dream) to me heading into some special club. It was in the middle of the woods and the building was all dilapidated with peeling blue paint. I walk in and the inside is dim and there are a number of sinister people there. I look over and see Jeeves sitting at one of the tables, drinking some sort of dark fluid. I walk up and sign in; suddenly realizing I'm a member. As a member, I have this placard with my picture and name on it. The person who checks me into this clubhouse establishment takes a blank placard out of the slot labeled 19 and places my card there. I walk over and sit down with Burt Reynolds and Jeeves.
As I'm conversing with these guys, I suddenly notice a group of ominous characters in the corner, staring me down. Something is said between myself and them and they become very angry. Jeeves and Burt Reynolds get very quiet, though I'm not sure why. Jeeves says he has to go, but before he leaves, he says and does something weird that I can't quite see and do not understand at all. After Jeeves leaves, Burt Reynolds turns to me and starts talking in a low tone about the club, though he's very vague. I shrug and tell him I'm a member as I gesture toward the host, who holds up the board with my placard in slot 19 for him to see. Burt Reynolds suddenly becomes very concerned as he grabs the card with my picture and name on it and sticks it in his hair for safe keeping, shooting a sideways glance over at the table that is full of my enemies. I am somewhat alarmed to realize these people noticed I was a member, though I was uncertain as to if they saw my name.
I thank Burt Reynolds for his time as I rise from the table and turn to walk out. I try not to notice as the sinister characters surround the friend I was abandoning to go discuss Hawaii with my company. As I exit the building, I turn to see the paint literally melting off the exterior walls of the clubhouse, exposing ugly brown wood. I am alarmed as I see the ominous group of enemies standing outside the building with a group of creatures I immediately notice as evil spirits. I start praying, telling myself because I believe in God, I am safe, that these spirits can't touch me as my enemies start chanting voodoo songs, asking the spirits to harm me. Suddenly, the spirits turn on the leader of the sinister group, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him as he brutally informed the guy they cannot harm me, that another has gotten to them first in regards to what to do with me and the mode they were in was protection and the ominous group was now in serious danger for trying to hurt me through them. It was then realized Jeeves had been doing something strange before he left, and that he had been conversing with the spirits to cast some sort of protection spell on me.
I turn to walk away, wondering what happened to Burt Reynolds and how Jeeves knew those people were going to try to hurt me using evil spirits. As I place distance between the club and myself, I puzzle over how I was even a member in the first place, though I don't dwell on this as I start stressing over what to say to my company about not wanting to go to Hawaii.
The end.
In the beginning of this dream, my company asked me to go to Oahu and I didn't answer. I was walking along with L and K, trying to discuss why I didn't want to go. L agrees with me, reminding me I’m going nuts up in M-ville without my friends and family around to hang out with at least once or twice a week, and I concur. I start talking to K about it, though I’m trying my best not to let him know one of the reasons I don’t want to go to Oahu for the next year or two is because I wanted a chance with him and I knew if I went, I wouldn't get that chance. But I was also stressed that I was not going to have a job if I said no to taking the job.
The dream then flashed (or maybe this was a separate dream) to me heading into some special club. It was in the middle of the woods and the building was all dilapidated with peeling blue paint. I walk in and the inside is dim and there are a number of sinister people there. I look over and see Jeeves sitting at one of the tables, drinking some sort of dark fluid. I walk up and sign in; suddenly realizing I'm a member. As a member, I have this placard with my picture and name on it. The person who checks me into this clubhouse establishment takes a blank placard out of the slot labeled 19 and places my card there. I walk over and sit down with Burt Reynolds and Jeeves.
As I'm conversing with these guys, I suddenly notice a group of ominous characters in the corner, staring me down. Something is said between myself and them and they become very angry. Jeeves and Burt Reynolds get very quiet, though I'm not sure why. Jeeves says he has to go, but before he leaves, he says and does something weird that I can't quite see and do not understand at all. After Jeeves leaves, Burt Reynolds turns to me and starts talking in a low tone about the club, though he's very vague. I shrug and tell him I'm a member as I gesture toward the host, who holds up the board with my placard in slot 19 for him to see. Burt Reynolds suddenly becomes very concerned as he grabs the card with my picture and name on it and sticks it in his hair for safe keeping, shooting a sideways glance over at the table that is full of my enemies. I am somewhat alarmed to realize these people noticed I was a member, though I was uncertain as to if they saw my name.
I thank Burt Reynolds for his time as I rise from the table and turn to walk out. I try not to notice as the sinister characters surround the friend I was abandoning to go discuss Hawaii with my company. As I exit the building, I turn to see the paint literally melting off the exterior walls of the clubhouse, exposing ugly brown wood. I am alarmed as I see the ominous group of enemies standing outside the building with a group of creatures I immediately notice as evil spirits. I start praying, telling myself because I believe in God, I am safe, that these spirits can't touch me as my enemies start chanting voodoo songs, asking the spirits to harm me. Suddenly, the spirits turn on the leader of the sinister group, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him as he brutally informed the guy they cannot harm me, that another has gotten to them first in regards to what to do with me and the mode they were in was protection and the ominous group was now in serious danger for trying to hurt me through them. It was then realized Jeeves had been doing something strange before he left, and that he had been conversing with the spirits to cast some sort of protection spell on me.
I turn to walk away, wondering what happened to Burt Reynolds and how Jeeves knew those people were going to try to hurt me using evil spirits. As I place distance between the club and myself, I puzzle over how I was even a member in the first place, though I don't dwell on this as I start stressing over what to say to my company about not wanting to go to Hawaii.
The end.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Who are these people?!
Well, I know what part of this dream was about...
I dreamt I was with my friend B (who hired me on at the first company in my current career path six years ago in June) in some random building. We were in the ladies room, I was in one stall, she was in the other, telling me about this company who she used to work for who was hiring. I was thinking about how my company hadn't been winning any work lately and I might not have another project to go to after this one ends, so I was interested in what she was saying. B told me she would put me in touch with a lady.
The dream flashed to B and I in some dingy, barely lit room. I'm on the phone with the lady who was going to be my new boss, if the company I currently work for was unable to keep me. As the lady on the other line was describing things to me, I thought I heard something outside. Not really listening to the lady, I carefully try to figure out what it was I heard. I have to ask the lady on the phone to repeat herself. She does, but at this point, I see flashing lights on the back side of the wall, reflected through the only window in the dim room. I realize it would be unprofessional to ask my potential future boss to repeat herself a third time, so I politely tell her something is wrong and that I have to go.
At this point, B is gone. I run out into the hallway and instantly suspect a fire, though there were no alarms going off. People were mulling around, talking about needing to get out of the building, but no one seemed to be motivated to really do so. I'm kind of freaking out, as I dash outside. I see a fire truck parked near the front of the building and I walk up to some lady whom I don't recognize, though in the dream she is my mother. I ask what is going on. She tells me my grandmother was in her room, when she saw an old man standing outside her window with his pants down. Alarmed, my "grandmother" (who, by the way, is not my grandmother in real life... it's like my dream made up a family for me out of complete strangers) called the cops.
My "mother" and I head over to where my "grandmother" is, and the half naked man is there. I look at both my grandmother and my mother with my eyes narrowed, informing them the creepy old guy who was ogling grandma is my "grandfather". They agree and I think how odd it is that these people are supposed to be my family and I recognize this as such in the dream, but I don't know any of them and my pseudo mother and grandmother don't know my supposed grandfather, who has apparently kept the romance alive in his old age by playing peeping tom with my "grandmother" as she sleeps.
Yeah, basically, at that point I woke up. Still don't know why the fire truck would be there if the cops were called, or who these people who were supposed to be my family really are. They all had faces, but as far as I know, I have never seen them before in real life. I also just can't get over how dark the dream was. Not a single point of the dream had full illumination, it was all this hazy, yellowish dimness. Strange.
I dreamt I was with my friend B (who hired me on at the first company in my current career path six years ago in June) in some random building. We were in the ladies room, I was in one stall, she was in the other, telling me about this company who she used to work for who was hiring. I was thinking about how my company hadn't been winning any work lately and I might not have another project to go to after this one ends, so I was interested in what she was saying. B told me she would put me in touch with a lady.
The dream flashed to B and I in some dingy, barely lit room. I'm on the phone with the lady who was going to be my new boss, if the company I currently work for was unable to keep me. As the lady on the other line was describing things to me, I thought I heard something outside. Not really listening to the lady, I carefully try to figure out what it was I heard. I have to ask the lady on the phone to repeat herself. She does, but at this point, I see flashing lights on the back side of the wall, reflected through the only window in the dim room. I realize it would be unprofessional to ask my potential future boss to repeat herself a third time, so I politely tell her something is wrong and that I have to go.
At this point, B is gone. I run out into the hallway and instantly suspect a fire, though there were no alarms going off. People were mulling around, talking about needing to get out of the building, but no one seemed to be motivated to really do so. I'm kind of freaking out, as I dash outside. I see a fire truck parked near the front of the building and I walk up to some lady whom I don't recognize, though in the dream she is my mother. I ask what is going on. She tells me my grandmother was in her room, when she saw an old man standing outside her window with his pants down. Alarmed, my "grandmother" (who, by the way, is not my grandmother in real life... it's like my dream made up a family for me out of complete strangers) called the cops.
My "mother" and I head over to where my "grandmother" is, and the half naked man is there. I look at both my grandmother and my mother with my eyes narrowed, informing them the creepy old guy who was ogling grandma is my "grandfather". They agree and I think how odd it is that these people are supposed to be my family and I recognize this as such in the dream, but I don't know any of them and my pseudo mother and grandmother don't know my supposed grandfather, who has apparently kept the romance alive in his old age by playing peeping tom with my "grandmother" as she sleeps.
Yeah, basically, at that point I woke up. Still don't know why the fire truck would be there if the cops were called, or who these people who were supposed to be my family really are. They all had faces, but as far as I know, I have never seen them before in real life. I also just can't get over how dark the dream was. Not a single point of the dream had full illumination, it was all this hazy, yellowish dimness. Strange.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Alone, with person...
Last night I had a dream I was in this junkyard where some sort of public function was going on. There was a camping trailer selling food and a bunch of picnic tables laid out amongst the crashed, smashed and broken down cars. My dad, step mom, BFF and K are there, seated at the picnic tables eating. I'm looking for something sweet to eat, when I come across a sign advertising an orange soda sundae, with vanilla ice cream and orange soda over the top. I purchase the tasty treat and head over to the two picnic tables. I offer my dad some of my sundae, before squeezing in near K, who is eating a plate of meat and home fries. I offer him a bite of my ice cream and he says no, before taking the desert from my hand and having a taste. When he handed my ice cream back, I noticed he had given me two of his home fries. I thank him as I walk off, taking a bite and noticing how good they were.
The dream then flashed to me at this big, strange house on top of this hill. The front room had floor to ceiling windows, with hardwood floors and this huge chef's kitchen. The place was enormous and old, dark and creepy. It is my dad's and I am house sitting with the cat. His dog is there and I am on the phone, talking to someone who is genderless and has no identity. I am telling this person how bored I am, as I have nothing to do and can't work my dad's TV. I tell them how I wish I was at home and had just brought the dog over to my house, but my dad wanted someone at the house since the neighborhood isn't that great. It was then I looked out the huge windows and see this single headlight coming at me. I tell the person on the phone I have to go and hang up, just as the motorcycle crashes through the window and into the house. I am not afraid, but instantly worry the cat and dog are going to get out. I scoop up the cat and grab the dog, rushing them down the hall, where I shut them up in one of the rooms. I snatch up the phone and quickly dial 911, though the motorcycle and rider are nowhere in sight.
The dream then flashed to me at this big, strange house on top of this hill. The front room had floor to ceiling windows, with hardwood floors and this huge chef's kitchen. The place was enormous and old, dark and creepy. It is my dad's and I am house sitting with the cat. His dog is there and I am on the phone, talking to someone who is genderless and has no identity. I am telling this person how bored I am, as I have nothing to do and can't work my dad's TV. I tell them how I wish I was at home and had just brought the dog over to my house, but my dad wanted someone at the house since the neighborhood isn't that great. It was then I looked out the huge windows and see this single headlight coming at me. I tell the person on the phone I have to go and hang up, just as the motorcycle crashes through the window and into the house. I am not afraid, but instantly worry the cat and dog are going to get out. I scoop up the cat and grab the dog, rushing them down the hall, where I shut them up in one of the rooms. I snatch up the phone and quickly dial 911, though the motorcycle and rider are nowhere in sight.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Pins & Needles
Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep in my hotel bed, I dreamt I had a single, short pin sticking into my brain. I reached back and pulled it out, not thinking about the consequences. It was then I realized I was laying down and the back of my head was open, with my brain exposed. There were at least a dozen 6" long thin pins sticking into the center of it and I was carefully trying to lift my head off of them, the whole time terrified I was going to end up damaging something vital by not having a doctor remove them. But I was laying alone in my hotel bed, with no phone within reach and I knew I would end up dead if I just laid there and did nothing.
I then forced myself awake. I had been out for less than 10 minutes. I rolled over, went back to sleep. Either I didn't dream after that or I don't remember it.
I then forced myself awake. I had been out for less than 10 minutes. I rolled over, went back to sleep. Either I didn't dream after that or I don't remember it.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Stress Much?
Not sure, but I think the split dreams I had the other night were a direct result of my stress level. Strange.
The first dream had my friend Master Flash living in a townhouse in Seattle, where the hill leading up to it was too steep for a car to get up without serious effort. The hill was almost straight up and my BFF, L, and I were in my car, trying to get up it, following Master Flash after a dinner in downtown. Funny thing is, the city below the townhouse, which was supposed to be Seattle, looked a lot more like Tacoma, near The Swiss. Anyway, we finally made it to Master Flash's house, played Apples to Apples before our friend Ratty decided to leave and L and I needed to make a beer run. We were on our way down the hill, when I got a call, telling me Ratty had gotten into an accident, that she had gotten a DUI. L and I were coming around a corner and saw emergency lights and Ratty's Trail Blazer smashed up against guardrail. Ratty wasn't there, however, she had already been taken to jail for driving while intoxicated.
I then woke up mid-thought, stressing over the DirecTV guy who was coming out later in the day and how the TV and entertainment center were too heavy for my to be able to move before he got there. As I rolled over and prepared to go back to sleep, I wondered what I was going to do or if the DirecTV guy would be willing to help me move this stuff out, if need be.
So I drifted back off to sleep and dreamt I woke up to find my living room an absolute mess from Master Flash, my Roomie, her boyfriend, CP, L, and myself playing Apples to Apples Friday night. I was all sorts of stressed out, as the chair that was usually in the upstairs back bedroom was shoved up against he wall, there were extra couch pieces laying around and my bookcase was dumped over and smashed up against the far wall. I'm sitting on the couch, staring at the disarray, when L walks into the house. I ask her if she could help me get the stuff back to the way it should be and she unenthusiastically agreed. As we started moving stuff around, she started rolling her eyes at my asking her help. Stressed out and upset she was acting like that, I told her I didn't need her help, to just forget it. I then plopped down on the couch, pouting. She asked me what my problem was and I told her I needed help moving the TV and entertainment center before the DirecTV guy showed up, but that I wasn't going to ask for her help with that, when she couldn't even help me with this without rolling her eyes and acting like it's too much trouble. She scolded me for not communicating properly and then I woke up again.
Seems I was grinding my teeth through at least that last dream...
The first dream had my friend Master Flash living in a townhouse in Seattle, where the hill leading up to it was too steep for a car to get up without serious effort. The hill was almost straight up and my BFF, L, and I were in my car, trying to get up it, following Master Flash after a dinner in downtown. Funny thing is, the city below the townhouse, which was supposed to be Seattle, looked a lot more like Tacoma, near The Swiss. Anyway, we finally made it to Master Flash's house, played Apples to Apples before our friend Ratty decided to leave and L and I needed to make a beer run. We were on our way down the hill, when I got a call, telling me Ratty had gotten into an accident, that she had gotten a DUI. L and I were coming around a corner and saw emergency lights and Ratty's Trail Blazer smashed up against guardrail. Ratty wasn't there, however, she had already been taken to jail for driving while intoxicated.
I then woke up mid-thought, stressing over the DirecTV guy who was coming out later in the day and how the TV and entertainment center were too heavy for my to be able to move before he got there. As I rolled over and prepared to go back to sleep, I wondered what I was going to do or if the DirecTV guy would be willing to help me move this stuff out, if need be.
So I drifted back off to sleep and dreamt I woke up to find my living room an absolute mess from Master Flash, my Roomie, her boyfriend, CP, L, and myself playing Apples to Apples Friday night. I was all sorts of stressed out, as the chair that was usually in the upstairs back bedroom was shoved up against he wall, there were extra couch pieces laying around and my bookcase was dumped over and smashed up against the far wall. I'm sitting on the couch, staring at the disarray, when L walks into the house. I ask her if she could help me get the stuff back to the way it should be and she unenthusiastically agreed. As we started moving stuff around, she started rolling her eyes at my asking her help. Stressed out and upset she was acting like that, I told her I didn't need her help, to just forget it. I then plopped down on the couch, pouting. She asked me what my problem was and I told her I needed help moving the TV and entertainment center before the DirecTV guy showed up, but that I wasn't going to ask for her help with that, when she couldn't even help me with this without rolling her eyes and acting like it's too much trouble. She scolded me for not communicating properly and then I woke up again.
Seems I was grinding my teeth through at least that last dream...
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