Well, I haven't been posting my dreams as often because the ones I remember have been about K and I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about him. Well, this one was about K, too, but I'm still going to post about it. It was weird.
Basically, I dreamt L, my dad, my step mom and I were hanging out. L and I decided we would go to K's band's last show for New Years Eve. L and I booked a hotel, for some reason my parents were there, and we proceeded to get ready. Well, L proceeded to get ready. I decided I was going to wait till the last minute to do my hair and put makeup on.
So this hotel we were at had a strange amphitheater, with stairs instead of seats. I was fussing around in the amphitheater by myself, when I notice members of the band standing around with blank looks on their faces. I turned around and almost ran into K, who acted as if he hadn't seen me. Suddenly all too aware my hair was a mess and my face was bare (I have acne; it's one of my only body issues), I quickly turn away from him, hoping like hell he didn't see me, though I was standing within a foot of him and I didn't see how he couldn't have. I quickly rush off to go find L, with the band ignoring me and me ignoring the band.
I find L, my dad and my step mom. I end up in an argument with L and my dad for whatever reason and scurry off in an indignant state of irritation. I watch as the members of the band leave the amphitheater to go get ready for their show. Then I run into a fellow who is always with the band and helps promote them. I talk with him briefly, not too worried about my lack of makeup, and mention something about a train out back I was thinking about taking a ride on. I then wander off and find the train.
This train is long and black with the cars being nothing more than platforms with railings on the side. There is a podium near the train with a joystick on it. The train has no operator. I glance at the joystick and push it all the way forward. I then climb on. The train blows its horn and I turn around to see the band and their promoter climb on. The train starts moving and K ignores me and I'm keeping my face away from him so he can't see I don't have makeup on, though the rest of the band acknowledges me this time.
I talk with their promoter, who mentions the band thought it would be a good precursor to their show to take a nice, relaxing ride on this train. He then mentions it's getting close to time for them to perform; we should be heading back. He asks when the train is supposed to slow down, halt and start going backwards to head back to the station. I shrug and tell him I don't know. He then asks how far forward I pushed the joystick that controls it. I told him all the way and his face goes white.
He tells me all the way forward means we're going all the way to the end of the line, which will make the band late for the show. Everyone is staring at me, including K. I am mortified. I start to move to the front of the train, saying something along the lines of there has to be a set of controls on the train. The band's promoter says no, there isn't.
Suddenly, I have an idea. I grab my cell phone and call my step mom, asking her if she's near the podium. She says yes. I ask her to pull the joystick all the way back. She does, the train slows down, halts, then starts going back to the station. I am relieved, but still embarrassed. Feeling guilty about the squabble I had with L and my dad, I ask where they are and what they are up to before hanging up.
As we make our way back to the station, I am trying to keep my face away from K. Suddenly, my pant leg creeps up to reveal my waxed legs. K takes note of how smooth my legs are as I pull my pant leg down to cover the exposed flesh. He looks up at me and actually looks at me this time. I tell him I'm sorry for almost making him late.
He shakes his head and says, "Thank you."
"Thank you for what?" I ask, baffled.
"Thank you for coming tonight," He says, "and for the train ride."
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
GOOD LORD!!!
Had the most messed up dream last night. MESSED UP. Part of it was okay and inspired by a favor I am seeing if my friend J can do for me. He's what us in the construction industry call a "Sprinkie". Basically, he's a fire sprinkler system installer... a type of plumber, if you will. I am concerned my earthwork contractor is going to overcharge me to hook my water up to my house, so I asked him if he knows anything about residential plumbing.
So in my dream, I was out at my property. There was a picnic table out there and no house, which is strange, 'cause in non-dreamland, I have a house standing there, all sided and dried in. Anyway, I was sitting at the picnic table, waiting for J to show up. I had my work laptop out and it was plugged into something. I remember thinking "man, I'm glad I have WiFi", though where it was coming from, I couldn't tell you, since there wasn't a house there.
So I'm working away and I notice there are people walking around on the road. Several of them look like transients and part of me is frightened. Suddenly, I look up and one of the transients has walked onto my property. He has a weird smile on his face and his pants are down and I'm freaked out because he's staring at me, drooling and is half naked as he sits on the picnic bench next to me. I tell him he needs to leave and he just scoots closer. I stand up and grab my cell phone, intent on calling the police. I tell him I'm going to call the cops and he gets up and starts to walk off, without pulling up his pants. I'm freaking and thinking about calling the cops anyways. There are still people walking around on the street and some of them are staring at me as I stand there, appalled by this transient who was so adamant about being half-naked and near me.
Then the dream flashes to J showing up. This is when I realize there is now a house on the property. He digs the water up and hooks the permanent water up for me, the whole time joking around about the transient he heard about being on my property. I ask where he heard about it from, but he doesn't answer. I ask if his wife knows he's there and he tells me no, she thinks he's working. I point out he is working and he shrugs.
I wake up.
Okay, so now that I have it down on paper, I have to say perhaps it's not nearly as messed up as I thought it was. It's the whole naked homeless man thing which freaked me out. The look on his face was psycho and scary. It's a dream I would not care to relive, that's for sure.
So in my dream, I was out at my property. There was a picnic table out there and no house, which is strange, 'cause in non-dreamland, I have a house standing there, all sided and dried in. Anyway, I was sitting at the picnic table, waiting for J to show up. I had my work laptop out and it was plugged into something. I remember thinking "man, I'm glad I have WiFi", though where it was coming from, I couldn't tell you, since there wasn't a house there.
So I'm working away and I notice there are people walking around on the road. Several of them look like transients and part of me is frightened. Suddenly, I look up and one of the transients has walked onto my property. He has a weird smile on his face and his pants are down and I'm freaked out because he's staring at me, drooling and is half naked as he sits on the picnic bench next to me. I tell him he needs to leave and he just scoots closer. I stand up and grab my cell phone, intent on calling the police. I tell him I'm going to call the cops and he gets up and starts to walk off, without pulling up his pants. I'm freaking and thinking about calling the cops anyways. There are still people walking around on the street and some of them are staring at me as I stand there, appalled by this transient who was so adamant about being half-naked and near me.
Then the dream flashes to J showing up. This is when I realize there is now a house on the property. He digs the water up and hooks the permanent water up for me, the whole time joking around about the transient he heard about being on my property. I ask where he heard about it from, but he doesn't answer. I ask if his wife knows he's there and he tells me no, she thinks he's working. I point out he is working and he shrugs.
I wake up.
Okay, so now that I have it down on paper, I have to say perhaps it's not nearly as messed up as I thought it was. It's the whole naked homeless man thing which freaked me out. The look on his face was psycho and scary. It's a dream I would not care to relive, that's for sure.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sicky Dreams... they are something else
Came down with a head cold, was sent home from work. After a big sandwich and a tomato soup that called itself "zesty" but was really just overloaded with pepper, I dozed off. I couldn't have really been sleeping, though. I mean, sure I dreamed... if it could be called that.
Basically, my dream was just fingers moving across a piano as I played a small spinet at my parent's house. As the place filled up with piano music, I found myself thinking how great it was going to be to take this piano to my house, once it is built. I then hear Chandler talking to Monica about handcuffs in the background. Apparently, they had found them in their guest bedroom and they were trying to find out who they belonged to. They asked Rachel, she said they weren't hers. I then woke up and looked at the TV, only to see Chandler asking Phoebe if the handcuffs were hers on Friends.
And no, I have not overloaded on Nyquil...
Then, last night, I had a dream my sister, my brother in law, my friends L and R and I were at a huge casino somewhere on vacation. We were in this huge auditorium with a stage and R and L and I were preparing to dance to a live band, when L walks off. I'm trying to find L as I scour the crowd, only to run into K (for those of you who haven't read any of the other posts, K is a man I am involved with who is also in a band). K says nothing to me, doesn't even look at me. He's dressed in the red shirt and black pants and he moves through the crowd with indifference. My cell phone rings, it's L. She's trying to tell me where she's at, but the band has started playing and I can't hear her. K looks over at me with disapproval for trying to talk on the phone while he is performing, so I step outside the auditorium. I find L. L, R, my sister and I decide we don't want to dance and start touring the casino, which seems to be about the size of a small country. We come across a balcony that looks down on a simulated beach. There is a swing on the balcony, so L, R, my sister and I get on our knees on it and swing out over the beach. It feels like we are flying.
I wake up.
Basically, my dream was just fingers moving across a piano as I played a small spinet at my parent's house. As the place filled up with piano music, I found myself thinking how great it was going to be to take this piano to my house, once it is built. I then hear Chandler talking to Monica about handcuffs in the background. Apparently, they had found them in their guest bedroom and they were trying to find out who they belonged to. They asked Rachel, she said they weren't hers. I then woke up and looked at the TV, only to see Chandler asking Phoebe if the handcuffs were hers on Friends.
And no, I have not overloaded on Nyquil...
Then, last night, I had a dream my sister, my brother in law, my friends L and R and I were at a huge casino somewhere on vacation. We were in this huge auditorium with a stage and R and L and I were preparing to dance to a live band, when L walks off. I'm trying to find L as I scour the crowd, only to run into K (for those of you who haven't read any of the other posts, K is a man I am involved with who is also in a band). K says nothing to me, doesn't even look at me. He's dressed in the red shirt and black pants and he moves through the crowd with indifference. My cell phone rings, it's L. She's trying to tell me where she's at, but the band has started playing and I can't hear her. K looks over at me with disapproval for trying to talk on the phone while he is performing, so I step outside the auditorium. I find L. L, R, my sister and I decide we don't want to dance and start touring the casino, which seems to be about the size of a small country. We come across a balcony that looks down on a simulated beach. There is a swing on the balcony, so L, R, my sister and I get on our knees on it and swing out over the beach. It feels like we are flying.
I wake up.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Strange, strange, strange!
Had the weirdest dream last night! Dreamt about K, even though he was sleeping up against me in the spooning position, and W, whom I haven't seen since prior to my divorce back in 2002. Basically, W is the man I fell for as a result of working with him, being in a marriage that had nothing to do with love and my husband never being around, no matter how often I told him he needed to lay off the swing and nightshifts, as I was on dayshift and only got to see him for a couple of hours every three or four days and we rarely shared a bed together as a result of his working (okay for dating, not for being married!) Oh, yeah, and the 6 to 9 month dryspells in the sex department was also a key factor in killing our companionship (why be in any sort of relationship if there is no sex?!) Long story short, I called off the marraige because it wasn't working (it had nothing to do W, he was just there for me to form an attraction to, as my marraige was seriously lacking in this area). So, after my husband and I separated, I pursued W. Yeah, well, the whole relationship with W backfired (as well it should have) and I ended up alone, which was exactly as I needed to be during that period of time in my life. I had issues to sort out, though I apparently didn't realize it at the time. Didn't realize it until J came along and completely shattered my entire world...
OMG, I am getting so far off topic. This is almost becoming a post for my other blog, Life Incoherent. Let's get back to the subject of my dream...
K and I were walking along some strange boardwalk, talking. W, who wasn't even in the picture when I was hooking up with K all those years ago, walks up and asks me a question. I nod, but don't say anything, as K is with me and he's the one I'm interested in. W walks off. K looks over at me and says something along the lines of, "so that was W, huh?" I'm baffled and embarrassed and suddenly blurt, "you know about W?!" As soon as I say this, I clam up, thinking I shouldn't have said anything... K couldn't know about W and I would prefer he continued to be ignorant to this part of my life. K states he knew about W all along, but he wasn't threatened. I nodded, told him he shouldn't be. He's the one I'm interested in. The dream flashes forward to me sitting in a small room with a couch, a beat up piece of raw wood fashioned into a makeshift coffee table and a few other furnishings and decorations. I am sitting on one end of the couch, W is on the other. We aren't saying anything, just staring at each other. W finally asks me what I'm doing back. I frown, not understanding his question, though I don't ask for elaboration. He then asks me where I’ve been and if I think we have a chance. I tell him no, I’m with K now. He had his chance, but he freaked out when my husband got involved and confronted him about dating me after we separated. The situation becomes awkward as W falls quiet but does not stop staring at me. My cell phone rings. It’s K and his car has broken down, he needs to be picked up, but I had too much wine with W. W drives, we pick K up from the side of the freeway and the situation becomes uncomfortable for all of us as I stress over having these two men in the same small space after what W has been asking me about, when I just want to be with K. I woke up at some point after this, as I don’t remember anymore of the dream.
Now, here is the strange part about this dream... I have not had any contact with W since 2002! W had nothing to do with K!!! K is the only man I am interested in right now, though I fear he's just playing around and doesn't have any inclination whatsoever to even be open to the potential of this becoming serious in the (near or not so near?) future. The only common factors the two men share is they are the only two people I have had a past with whom I not only created a character for in my book as a form of punishment for how they made me feel, but they are also the only two men I have had a past with and would even consider picking something back up with. I have possibly been given this opportunity with K... W, from what my Tacoma friend told me a year ago, is in a serious relationship with the girl he got together with shortly after he and I called it off. That was a bit of drama, the relationship spree W went into after our involvement. None of this is really the type of content for this blog. This is supposed to be all about the dreams, causes and interpretations. Perhaps I shall post about this tailspin portion of my past in Life Incoherent...
OMG, I am getting so far off topic. This is almost becoming a post for my other blog, Life Incoherent. Let's get back to the subject of my dream...
K and I were walking along some strange boardwalk, talking. W, who wasn't even in the picture when I was hooking up with K all those years ago, walks up and asks me a question. I nod, but don't say anything, as K is with me and he's the one I'm interested in. W walks off. K looks over at me and says something along the lines of, "so that was W, huh?" I'm baffled and embarrassed and suddenly blurt, "you know about W?!" As soon as I say this, I clam up, thinking I shouldn't have said anything... K couldn't know about W and I would prefer he continued to be ignorant to this part of my life. K states he knew about W all along, but he wasn't threatened. I nodded, told him he shouldn't be. He's the one I'm interested in. The dream flashes forward to me sitting in a small room with a couch, a beat up piece of raw wood fashioned into a makeshift coffee table and a few other furnishings and decorations. I am sitting on one end of the couch, W is on the other. We aren't saying anything, just staring at each other. W finally asks me what I'm doing back. I frown, not understanding his question, though I don't ask for elaboration. He then asks me where I’ve been and if I think we have a chance. I tell him no, I’m with K now. He had his chance, but he freaked out when my husband got involved and confronted him about dating me after we separated. The situation becomes awkward as W falls quiet but does not stop staring at me. My cell phone rings. It’s K and his car has broken down, he needs to be picked up, but I had too much wine with W. W drives, we pick K up from the side of the freeway and the situation becomes uncomfortable for all of us as I stress over having these two men in the same small space after what W has been asking me about, when I just want to be with K. I woke up at some point after this, as I don’t remember anymore of the dream.
Now, here is the strange part about this dream... I have not had any contact with W since 2002! W had nothing to do with K!!! K is the only man I am interested in right now, though I fear he's just playing around and doesn't have any inclination whatsoever to even be open to the potential of this becoming serious in the (near or not so near?) future. The only common factors the two men share is they are the only two people I have had a past with whom I not only created a character for in my book as a form of punishment for how they made me feel, but they are also the only two men I have had a past with and would even consider picking something back up with. I have possibly been given this opportunity with K... W, from what my Tacoma friend told me a year ago, is in a serious relationship with the girl he got together with shortly after he and I called it off. That was a bit of drama, the relationship spree W went into after our involvement. None of this is really the type of content for this blog. This is supposed to be all about the dreams, causes and interpretations. Perhaps I shall post about this tailspin portion of my past in Life Incoherent...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Slept Hard
Dreamt twice. First dream, I believe, is inspired by my remaining insecurities when it comes to K, the man I think I am dating, though I also have an idea we might just be playing around. Basically, when we meet up, things usually go really smoothly, we seem to click, we have amazing sex and then we part and I don't hear from him for a week or so. This dream, however, I think has to do with the way he oftentimes completely ignores my call or text. I know he's busy... that's totally understandable. But when I call or text and don't hear from him for days, sometimes even close to a week, I feel dismissed. Well, yesterday, my friend came across extra Seahawks tickets. I know he likes the Seahawks, so I texted him. Then found out the ticket price was being cut in half and word was going out. So I called K, telling him to get back to me as soon as he could with an answer. Long story short, I got the tickets with my friend's promise to help find someone if he can't go and it's now the next day and I have yet to hear from K. Last night, my first dream went accordingly...
I was walking along the street down in Mannette, when I realized I'd been texting. I look down to see who I was texting and I see I've been blowing up K's phone. I quickly review what I've been sending, and find I've texted him at least four or five times with various lyrics. Concerned that I had been blowing up his phone and spoiling his opinion of me, I snap my phone closed and stress over whether or not I just contacted him too much. My dream then flashed to me sitting with my friends at the Seahawk's game. There's another guy beside me whom I know, but is not K. We're under a blanket and I realize this guy has his hand on my leg as he starts to feel up my thigh. I don't react as I stress over whether K would approve of this or not. I then allow this guy whom I know to feel up my leg, as I reason K and I are obviously not an item. That the exclusive talk we had a few nights ago only meant I couldn't have sex with the guy sitting next to me, which I had no intention of doing.
I then woke up, used the bathroom and came back to bed to have the following, non-K related dream...
I was up in Marysville, staying at my hotel. A couple of my old friends from Tacoma were there. We were headed up to the mountains to go quad riding, when I was kidnapped by some indigenous group. They tied me to this chair and were preparing to violate me, but I somehow escaped. I then noticed I had this little voodoo doll following me as I headed into the hills, where I had seen my friends from Tacoma headed. I thought I lost my voodoo doll, though I managed to find my friends. They were riding around on the quads and I asked if I could go back to the hotel with them, as I was scared the indigenous natives were going to find me. One of my best friends from Tacoma shook her head and said, "No, you still have a tracker on your tail. They'd find you." I looked behind me and saw the voodoo doll standing a ways back on the trail behind me. I snatched the little bastard up and as I held him, I felt a strange pin sticking out of his back. I grabbed it and pulled. The pin came out and the dolls eyes went from beady to Xs. I had killed it. My Tacoma friend was mystified, and I then noticed she had a voodoo doll following her, too. I asked if she wanted me to kill it and she said no. I then realized she didn't want to go back to the hotel and wondered if she had been infiltrated. I headed back to the hotel and found the room where her and her family was staying, only to realize they were holed up and afraid as I saw some of the Natives heading toward the hotel with ornate backboards for strapping people down on and taking them back to their camp.
I woke up just as we were all hiding in the room and the Natives were trying to kidnap us... I know what inspired the first dream, no idea what the second dream was about. Would need my friend L to translate. Maybe I'll have her do that...
I was walking along the street down in Mannette, when I realized I'd been texting. I look down to see who I was texting and I see I've been blowing up K's phone. I quickly review what I've been sending, and find I've texted him at least four or five times with various lyrics. Concerned that I had been blowing up his phone and spoiling his opinion of me, I snap my phone closed and stress over whether or not I just contacted him too much. My dream then flashed to me sitting with my friends at the Seahawk's game. There's another guy beside me whom I know, but is not K. We're under a blanket and I realize this guy has his hand on my leg as he starts to feel up my thigh. I don't react as I stress over whether K would approve of this or not. I then allow this guy whom I know to feel up my leg, as I reason K and I are obviously not an item. That the exclusive talk we had a few nights ago only meant I couldn't have sex with the guy sitting next to me, which I had no intention of doing.
I then woke up, used the bathroom and came back to bed to have the following, non-K related dream...
I was up in Marysville, staying at my hotel. A couple of my old friends from Tacoma were there. We were headed up to the mountains to go quad riding, when I was kidnapped by some indigenous group. They tied me to this chair and were preparing to violate me, but I somehow escaped. I then noticed I had this little voodoo doll following me as I headed into the hills, where I had seen my friends from Tacoma headed. I thought I lost my voodoo doll, though I managed to find my friends. They were riding around on the quads and I asked if I could go back to the hotel with them, as I was scared the indigenous natives were going to find me. One of my best friends from Tacoma shook her head and said, "No, you still have a tracker on your tail. They'd find you." I looked behind me and saw the voodoo doll standing a ways back on the trail behind me. I snatched the little bastard up and as I held him, I felt a strange pin sticking out of his back. I grabbed it and pulled. The pin came out and the dolls eyes went from beady to Xs. I had killed it. My Tacoma friend was mystified, and I then noticed she had a voodoo doll following her, too. I asked if she wanted me to kill it and she said no. I then realized she didn't want to go back to the hotel and wondered if she had been infiltrated. I headed back to the hotel and found the room where her and her family was staying, only to realize they were holed up and afraid as I saw some of the Natives heading toward the hotel with ornate backboards for strapping people down on and taking them back to their camp.
I woke up just as we were all hiding in the room and the Natives were trying to kidnap us... I know what inspired the first dream, no idea what the second dream was about. Would need my friend L to translate. Maybe I'll have her do that...
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Disconcerting
So, I think last night's dream relates to Monday's encounter with our superintendent on the GCCM side. I don't like getting in trouble, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I try my best to be the best I can be in everything I do so I don't get in trouble. So when I went over to the GCCM trailer and had to admit we had dropped the ball on something I thought I needed an answer from my superintendent for and the GCCM super, apparently disappointed in me, tells me there was a way I could have gotten the answer myself, I was crushed. I've actually been stressing over it these past few days.
So last night, I had this dream I was sending out a funny company email, where I drew my favorite people using microsoft paint. I was so proud of my work, thought I had done a great job. I walked into the GCCM superintendent's trailer and he was pissed. He said to me "don't you ever send anything out about me again, do you hear me?" I was heart broken. I looked away and told him it was just a picture, to which he said, "I don't care what it was, you leave me out of it." I looked at the ground as I teared up, remembering how I had spent extra special care on creating detail for everyone's faces and how it had took me several tries to get his beard right and all I had done was make him angry.
Now, this is very unlike the person who the dream was about, but it disturbed me nonetheless. I felt so distraught at having made him so angry. Then again, I was mildly distressed at his disappointment the other day. The subconscious is a strange thing...
So last night, I had this dream I was sending out a funny company email, where I drew my favorite people using microsoft paint. I was so proud of my work, thought I had done a great job. I walked into the GCCM superintendent's trailer and he was pissed. He said to me "don't you ever send anything out about me again, do you hear me?" I was heart broken. I looked away and told him it was just a picture, to which he said, "I don't care what it was, you leave me out of it." I looked at the ground as I teared up, remembering how I had spent extra special care on creating detail for everyone's faces and how it had took me several tries to get his beard right and all I had done was make him angry.
Now, this is very unlike the person who the dream was about, but it disturbed me nonetheless. I felt so distraught at having made him so angry. Then again, I was mildly distressed at his disappointment the other day. The subconscious is a strange thing...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Restless
I tossed and turned all night long. Had several dreams, a couple about K. Bet you're wondering if all the dreams I post about are going to be about K. Answer is a definite NO. The only reason they all seem to be about K right now is because he seems to be what my subconscious likes to throw at me when I'm unconscious and it has control over me. I plan on posting whatever dreams I have and possibly my past dreams, as well. I have a knack for remembering a lot of them... especially the ones which really affect me or have come true in one aspect or another.
In any case, a couple of dreams about K last night. First, there was the one where he and I got together again. We were on the hotel room bed up in MV, where I stay for work, messing around. I wanted him to take me so bad, but he ignored my requests, just like he did earlier this month, when we first got together. He was on top of me, but refused to enter and climaxed on my torso. In the dream I slapped my hands down in frustration and in real life woke up to hearing myself mutter "what the hell? I'm so disappointed."
Ended up going right back to sleep, slipping back into a similar dream. We were sitting on the couch at the MV hotel, I asked where this was going. Dream K told me he wants to date and see where this goes. He then asked me to come to one of his shows and I told him I was not comfortable, but wanted to support him. Suddenly, I'm at the casino where we last saw them perform. The line is so long, it's out the front door. I walk up to the person letting people in as others leave and ask if she knows my name. She tells me K said to let me in and I was stumped. I walk into the lounge area and he approaches me and is very attentive.
Sure was the opposite end of the spectrum from the dream I had when I took my nap after Black Friday shopping. I think this last dream was inspired by the heart to heart I had with my best friend L yesterday over a glass of wine. She still doesn't trust K is genuine. She still thinks he's hanging around because this is once again easy for him and she has let me know her opinion is not going to change until she sees him interact with me outside the venue of his performances. I doubt this will happen anytime soon, if ever. I've invited him out with us a couple times, but both requests have been completely ignored. I'm okay with it, this is a bit too early for me to expect him to want to make an appearance among my friends. And if when I ask him where this is going (sometime in January), then I will probably be walking away if L was right and he does just see this as friends with benefits. Not that I expect an instant relationship, but to at least have the potential for it to go somewhere is a must. The dreams can be damned, I've dealt with them before. Used to dream about W all the time, back when we were seeing each other eight years ago. Then things got overly complicated and we had to go our separate ways. The frequency of the dreams tend to wear off with distance, before they just completely fade away into the mist of general indifference...
In any case, a couple of dreams about K last night. First, there was the one where he and I got together again. We were on the hotel room bed up in MV, where I stay for work, messing around. I wanted him to take me so bad, but he ignored my requests, just like he did earlier this month, when we first got together. He was on top of me, but refused to enter and climaxed on my torso. In the dream I slapped my hands down in frustration and in real life woke up to hearing myself mutter "what the hell? I'm so disappointed."
Ended up going right back to sleep, slipping back into a similar dream. We were sitting on the couch at the MV hotel, I asked where this was going. Dream K told me he wants to date and see where this goes. He then asked me to come to one of his shows and I told him I was not comfortable, but wanted to support him. Suddenly, I'm at the casino where we last saw them perform. The line is so long, it's out the front door. I walk up to the person letting people in as others leave and ask if she knows my name. She tells me K said to let me in and I was stumped. I walk into the lounge area and he approaches me and is very attentive.
Sure was the opposite end of the spectrum from the dream I had when I took my nap after Black Friday shopping. I think this last dream was inspired by the heart to heart I had with my best friend L yesterday over a glass of wine. She still doesn't trust K is genuine. She still thinks he's hanging around because this is once again easy for him and she has let me know her opinion is not going to change until she sees him interact with me outside the venue of his performances. I doubt this will happen anytime soon, if ever. I've invited him out with us a couple times, but both requests have been completely ignored. I'm okay with it, this is a bit too early for me to expect him to want to make an appearance among my friends. And if when I ask him where this is going (sometime in January), then I will probably be walking away if L was right and he does just see this as friends with benefits. Not that I expect an instant relationship, but to at least have the potential for it to go somewhere is a must. The dreams can be damned, I've dealt with them before. Used to dream about W all the time, back when we were seeing each other eight years ago. Then things got overly complicated and we had to go our separate ways. The frequency of the dreams tend to wear off with distance, before they just completely fade away into the mist of general indifference...
Friday, November 27, 2009
My Nap
My crazy ass got up at 2 AM on a Black Friday, after only a few hours of sleep so I could freeze my durf off waiting in line outside Best Buy for two hours. So you can understand my desire to hit the sheets again once I got home. Now, I've been on 3 dates with this guy whom I've run into again after 6 years of no contact... with the only contact all those years ago being nothing but a hookup after his shows (he's in a band that is retiring at the end of this year). Anyway, I've been unsure of if this is just a bootycall outside the venue of his performances or if we are actually dating, though I've been leaning toward the latter.
Apparently, my uncertainty is getting the better of my subconscious, as I just had a dream where my friend L and I were at the venue where we saw him and I obtained his number last month. In my dream, she and I were putting together some sort of Flashcards and I had no idea he was there. As I was sorting through what we had cut up so far and was talking with various different people, I see his back to me as he heads towards the stage door. He says not a word, nor does he look over in my direction, all I see is his back. I'm perplexed and feeling on the spot, as I wonder if I should have been more observant, noticed him prior to his having to take the stage and said hello. Prior to last month, I was always the one who had to approach him. Next, the guitarist, whom I am not fond of, approaches the stage door, facing me. I give him a dirty look, he doesn't care and follows K (the singer whom I have interest in). Next, the female singer approaches the stage door, also facing me. I wave to her, she gives me this strange look and follows K and T (the guitarist I am not fond of). I push down my feelings of being an outsider and focus on what my friend L and I are doing. Later, I mention to my guy friend G about what happened. He says to me, "You should definitely text him and tell him hello. That you didn't mean to ignore him." Well, I ended up not texting him in my dream, as I could not find the right words to express I had not seen him and my dream self was put off that he didn't bother to say hi to me, but had ignored me.
Now, I have to admit this dream is a little more unsettling than the dream I had about him several weeks ago. I dreamt he was coming out to my property where I'm building and asked for directions, which I drew a blank on and had trouble giving him. For some reason, dream K was not taking the ferry and was interested in seeing my half built house. Once he got there, I discovered it was because he was having his first grandchild being born at Harrison. Now, in real time, K is quite a bit older than me... but not THAT old! And to the best of my knowledge, he does not have kids. Of course, we have not talked about anything that deep, really. Still, I would figure a man who has 2 jobs during the week and plays in a band almost every weekend wouldn't have kids, let alone grandchildren! Where the age difference doesn't bother me at all, if he had kids, it would. In fact, it just might be a deal breaker...
Apparently, my uncertainty is getting the better of my subconscious, as I just had a dream where my friend L and I were at the venue where we saw him and I obtained his number last month. In my dream, she and I were putting together some sort of Flashcards and I had no idea he was there. As I was sorting through what we had cut up so far and was talking with various different people, I see his back to me as he heads towards the stage door. He says not a word, nor does he look over in my direction, all I see is his back. I'm perplexed and feeling on the spot, as I wonder if I should have been more observant, noticed him prior to his having to take the stage and said hello. Prior to last month, I was always the one who had to approach him. Next, the guitarist, whom I am not fond of, approaches the stage door, facing me. I give him a dirty look, he doesn't care and follows K (the singer whom I have interest in). Next, the female singer approaches the stage door, also facing me. I wave to her, she gives me this strange look and follows K and T (the guitarist I am not fond of). I push down my feelings of being an outsider and focus on what my friend L and I are doing. Later, I mention to my guy friend G about what happened. He says to me, "You should definitely text him and tell him hello. That you didn't mean to ignore him." Well, I ended up not texting him in my dream, as I could not find the right words to express I had not seen him and my dream self was put off that he didn't bother to say hi to me, but had ignored me.
Now, I have to admit this dream is a little more unsettling than the dream I had about him several weeks ago. I dreamt he was coming out to my property where I'm building and asked for directions, which I drew a blank on and had trouble giving him. For some reason, dream K was not taking the ferry and was interested in seeing my half built house. Once he got there, I discovered it was because he was having his first grandchild being born at Harrison. Now, in real time, K is quite a bit older than me... but not THAT old! And to the best of my knowledge, he does not have kids. Of course, we have not talked about anything that deep, really. Still, I would figure a man who has 2 jobs during the week and plays in a band almost every weekend wouldn't have kids, let alone grandchildren! Where the age difference doesn't bother me at all, if he had kids, it would. In fact, it just might be a deal breaker...
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