Strange, strange, strange!

Had the weirdest dream last night! Dreamt about K, even though he was sleeping up against me in the spooning position, and W, whom I haven't seen since prior to my divorce back in 2002. Basically, W is the man I fell for as a result of working with him, being in a marriage that had nothing to do with love and my husband never being around, no matter how often I told him he needed to lay off the swing and nightshifts, as I was on dayshift and only got to see him for a couple of hours every three or four days and we rarely shared a bed together as a result of his working (okay for dating, not for being married!) Oh, yeah, and the 6 to 9 month dryspells in the sex department was also a key factor in killing our companionship (why be in any sort of relationship if there is no sex?!) Long story short, I called off the marraige because it wasn't working (it had nothing to do W, he was just there for me to form an attraction to, as my marraige was seriously lacking in this area). So, after my husband and I separated, I pursued W. Yeah, well, the whole relationship with W backfired (as well it should have) and I ended up alone, which was exactly as I needed to be during that period of time in my life. I had issues to sort out, though I apparently didn't realize it at the time. Didn't realize it until J came along and completely shattered my entire world...

OMG, I am getting so far off topic. This is almost becoming a post for my other blog, Life Incoherent. Let's get back to the subject of my dream...

K and I were walking along some strange boardwalk, talking. W, who wasn't even in the picture when I was hooking up with K all those years ago, walks up and asks me a question. I nod, but don't say anything, as K is with me and he's the one I'm interested in. W walks off. K looks over at me and says something along the lines of, "so that was W, huh?" I'm baffled and embarrassed and suddenly blurt, "you know about W?!" As soon as I say this, I clam up, thinking I shouldn't have said anything... K couldn't know about W and I would prefer he continued to be ignorant to this part of my life. K states he knew about W all along, but he wasn't threatened. I nodded, told him he shouldn't be. He's the one I'm interested in. The dream flashes forward to me sitting in a small room with a couch, a beat up piece of raw wood fashioned into a makeshift coffee table and a few other furnishings and decorations. I am sitting on one end of the couch, W is on the other. We aren't saying anything, just staring at each other. W finally asks me what I'm doing back. I frown, not understanding his question, though I don't ask for elaboration. He then asks me where I’ve been and if I think we have a chance. I tell him no, I’m with K now. He had his chance, but he freaked out when my husband got involved and confronted him about dating me after we separated. The situation becomes awkward as W falls quiet but does not stop staring at me. My cell phone rings. It’s K and his car has broken down, he needs to be picked up, but I had too much wine with W. W drives, we pick K up from the side of the freeway and the situation becomes uncomfortable for all of us as I stress over having these two men in the same small space after what W has been asking me about, when I just want to be with K. I woke up at some point after this, as I don’t remember anymore of the dream.

Now, here is the strange part about this dream... I have not had any contact with W since 2002! W had nothing to do with K!!! K is the only man I am interested in right now, though I fear he's just playing around and doesn't have any inclination whatsoever to even be open to the potential of this becoming serious in the (near or not so near?) future. The only common factors the two men share is they are the only two people I have had a past with whom I not only created a character for in my book as a form of punishment for how they made me feel, but they are also the only two men I have had a past with and would even consider picking something back up with. I have possibly been given this opportunity with K... W, from what my Tacoma friend told me a year ago, is in a serious relationship with the girl he got together with shortly after he and I called it off. That was a bit of drama, the relationship spree W went into after our involvement. None of this is really the type of content for this blog. This is supposed to be all about the dreams, causes and interpretations. Perhaps I shall post about this tailspin portion of my past in Life Incoherent...